Many times I hear from women or couples how difficult it is for them to conceive and to have a baby, I often see symptoms that are not on the physical level. What I see is clearly a psychological barrier that makes it hard to overcome and as a result it does not work out with having a baby. It is often quite visible that these couples are holding themself back.
Psychological issues are playing a major role when it comes to being able of conceiving a baby. The more you stress out about having a baby, the faster you reduce your physical ability to become pregnant. Becoming pregnant requires a certain state of mind and if that state of mind is “polluted” with negative thoughts and negative impacts your overall state of mind is heavily of course. Every month that you try and nothing happens can be seen in two different ways. If your state of mind is negative the unsuccessful attempt of becoming pregnant is seen as a failure. If this happens several times after another each unsuccessful try to conceive becomes a bigger failure. We are human beings and we do not like failure. Once we associate ourselves with failure we push ourselves into a corner that is hard to escape from. And from month to month it gets even more difficult to think positive about having a baby. Making love becomes a task that gets time and looked at in so much detail – it is no fun anymore. Making love should be fun and exciting. It should be a sparkling moment, a moment that would hopefully last forever. But when it becomes a task we can’t have the moment of making love go by as fast as possible. There is no fun anymore. There won’t be a baby.
I want you to get out of that negative state of mind. I want you to leave all the negative thinking behind. I want you to feel excited when the moment of ovulation comes closer. I want you to look at your hubby with those “undress me” eyes that you had the first time you were together making love all night long. I want you to feel the electricity in the air again. I want you to hop on cloud nine and to make it a night to remember.
But how do you get there if you are in that dark corner?
Believe it or not, but I think we as human beings are able to program our mind to think positive and to rise to any challenge life throws at us. It took me a while to realize that myself, but once you get to that point, there is no return. There is almost no way a negative event can drag you down again. There is almost no challenge you cannot overcome.
When Thomas Edison was working on inventing the light bulb (one that worked at least) he had roughly 10,000 unsuccessful tries. When he was asked why he was still working on that light bulb after having 9,999 failures he replied by saying something like “I did not have 9,999 failures. I found 9,999 ways not to make a working light bulb.” – You can find similar attitude among the most successful people. They do not see something that does not work as a failure. They do see the unsuccessful try as something to learn from. And then they take that knowledge and they will learn from it and then they try to make it better next time. Successful people also look at other successful people and they learn from their mistakes and from their experience. If something specific worked for somebody else, then chances are very high it works for them, too.
If you are trying too hard to have a baby, chances are small you will succeed. Making a baby when you want a baby is kind of a magical moment. If there is no magic the moment you do it, there won’t be a baby. But you can change that. You can change your negative mind set and bring back the magic when making love.
Forget about making love to have a baby. Make love because you love your partner. Make love because it is exciting and feels good. Make love because you want to be close to your spouse. Even though this is a bit out of context, but think about how other couples became pregnant. I am referring to those couples that did not really wanted to have a baby right that moment. They made love because it was fun and exciting. They did not think about having a baby. They had a magic moment, they enjoyed each other’s company – they just did it.
Stop caring about ovulation for a moment. Since this has not worked in your favor up until now any why care for the moment?! Bring back the sparkle and the electricity between the 2 of you. Start making love when you are in the mood – no matter the timing during the ovulation cycle. Make love in unusual places and/or unusual times of the day.
From there start building up a more positive mindset. Life is too short to worry about so many things. If you start looking at things from a positive perspective, positive things will happen. If making love is fun again and you enjoy each moment with your partner, then that is a positive experience you can build upon. Look at happy families in a positive way and try to model what makes them happy and then put your own spin on things. What works for them will work for you, too.
This article is only scratching the surface about positive thinking. I don’t want to write a book here, but the message I would like to offer you today is to stop obsessing why you are not getting pregnant. I’d rather want you to obsess about having a partner that dearly loves you enough to have gone this far with you on this journey. I want you to see the glass half full and not half empty. Go and find the magic again when making love.
Read the 2nd article of this series of articles. Click here.
