How To Deal With Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

How To Deal With Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

It’s going to happen sooner or later. As your child grows, the time comes for their first separation, no matter how brief or temporary. Many children feel extreme anxiety over this parting every year, but parents have lots of options for laying their fears to rest.

Separation threatens children’s sense of security.

As many parents unhappily know, very small children experience profound separation anxiety when exposed to even the briefest partings. For toddlers and babies, the presence of the parent is directly related to their security. And for older children, perhaps leaving for day care or school for the first time, the concept of spending all day away from the security of home can also be a source of dread.

Parents can reassure them at the moment, but nonetheless some emotions will not immediately manifest. They instead surface later, perhaps when the child is at school or left to play or sleep.

Dealing with the pain of separation

The emotions take many forms, including several kinds of antisocial behavior. Children dealing with suppressed anger or hurt from separation will often transfer their affection to a playmate or friend, or else become belligerent with their classmates. They will also often wander away from tasks or activities.

Children should be allowed to let their feelings out, including crying and wailing if necessary, in order to purge their anxiety. Parents or teachers and caretakers can help them through the crying by offering a comforting presence. Many children often feel closer to the comforter as a result.

Parents can prepare their children for the transition.

Getting the children excited about the event causing the separation is a proven remedy for separation anxiety. Parents can talk up the time spent away, including cheering the children up and giving details to make the event seem like an adventure. Children often view separation as a punishment, so clearing up this misunderstanding first will help them acclimate that much quicker.

Saying goodbye

When the moment for parting company arrives, parents should let their children set the pace for the separation, giving them as much time as is reasonably available. The child will sometimes resist the separation, until parents help them understand its nature. Parents can also introduce and recommend the teacher or caretaker to the child at the separation, telling the child that he or she will be taking care of them for the time being. The child will understand and mimic the parent’s trust.

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