It comes a time when maternity becomes an issue for every lesbian and the tension in the couple can become a reality during the decision of having a baby, during the consultations, and during pregnancy
The lesbians can face many hurdles before they achieve their desire for motherhood: the social stigma, homophobia, the potential rejection of the family, limited access to resources such as sperm banks or in vitro fertilization.
Those barriers exist despite the published evidence confirming that the psychosocial development of children raised by lesbians had no difference with that of children of heterosexual couples, as well as the identity, personality, or intelligence.
The lesbians have these days access to useful information on the fertility, ovulation, sperm donation, testing, method of insemination or adoption according to the law).
It is advisable to include your partner in these discussions, even if you are the member of the couple who is decided to become pregnant and bring a child in the world.
The insemination by donor is an anonymous and rather inexpensive method of having a child as a lesbian, because the success rate is reasonable in fertile women. The insemination is timed to be completed before ovulating, using the rate of LH (luteinizing hormone) in urine to identify the time of ovulation. The insemination can be performed by the woman herself, her partner, or her doctor. It seems that intrauterine insemination is slightly more effective than the cervical intrauterine insemination.
The mutual motherhood is another alternative. The egg of one of the partners is aspirated, fertilized in vitro fertilization, and then transferred to the uterus of the other partner. Even if this method allows both partners to participate in the pregnancy, it can be very expensive, because it is more risky than the usual insemination.
The prenatal care is the same for lesbians as for all the other women. The partner should be encouraged to participate in preparation of childbirth. This means she should attend all the visits to the doctor with the pregnant partner and try to get as involved as possible in all the issues related to the pregnancy. The life of the couple might change to a great extent during lesbian pregnancy, so it is very important for the partners to communicate and express their feelings. After the birth of the child, the responsibilities should be shared and all the decisions regarding the baby need to be taken by both partners.
Not having a same-sex partner yet? Check out the Lesbian Dating Bible.